Friday, October 26, 2007

Heeb at a Rugby Match

Last weekend I went with a friend to watch the World Cup of Rugby at the only bar in Milwaukee showing the match on pay-per-view. We got to the bar 20 minutes before the match between England and South America. It was already clear as we drove by looking for parking that the bar was packed. Upon trying to get in the front door, we realized that sardines have more space than we were about to enjoy.

First, there were lots of people sporting South African jerseys and flags painted on their face. Way, way back in the far corner, we saw about 10 Brits, wearing their jerseys and a few brave ones sporting full head and body paint. It was very clear that they had been drinking for a few hours already.

We found a scant amount of space squished up against the front window. And then it was time for the national anthems. First, Gd Save the Queen. I've never heard a more drunken, spirited rendition. I'm not quite sure that's what the folks at Buckingham Palace had in mind. And then came time for the South Africans. Their anthem was too long, and they needed sheets with the words (because it was too long?).

I don't get rugby at all. I now get even less of it. At some point, a woman in front of me said, "I like your hand of Gd", referring to my hamsa. I thanked her, and then she said, "Are you a Heeb?" Naturally, my answer was yes.

She then announced this fact to her friends, and then turned back to me letting me know that she had been their only Heeb friend for the last 20 years.

It turns out that this was only her second rugby match and she was only slightly less clueless than I was. I suggested a viewing section for American girls who don't really get rugby....

Monday, October 15, 2007

The Wrong Flakes

I bought the wrong cereal yesterday. The tragedy is that I didn't notice until I'd already opened the box and the plastic bag (my rant on overpackaging will be saved for a future date!). At first, I thought there was really something wrong. Like bugs or something. There were colored pieces in the bag. Upon closer inspection, and noticing that some looked suspiciously like raspberries, I realized I'd bought the fruity cereal and not just the plain, boring kind that I'd hoped for.

And so, into the bowl it went, flakes and fruits. I'm pretty sure that the rabbis would not approve of mixing in this way. My assessment: it looked prettier than my normal bowl of plain flakes, turned my soymilk a little bluish, and every third spoonful or so tasted a little tangy in an otherwise sort of fruity if you know what you're actually tasting sort of way.