Friday, June 15, 2012

Watermelon Games

The best thing about summer is a great watermelon.  You might think that the worst thing about summer would be excessive heat or humidity or catching a cold or  bacteria in the lake, but you'd be wrong. The worst thing about summer is a watermelon that should be great but isn't.

And that's because you don't know if it's a good watermelon until you've actually cut into it. And there really can't be anything worse than the disappointment in finding that the watermelon you cut into isn't as delicious as it should be.

When I find a great watermelon, I like to play a game I call, "How much watermelon is too much watermelon?" Inevitably I find the answer as evidenced by the inability to put even one more bite into my mouth.

A little known side effect to this game is memory loss. In the case of this game, it means you get to play again because you actually forget how much watermelon is too much watermelon.

And before you suggest re-purposing an imperfect watermelon for other things, let me just say that other things that taste like watermelon aren't the same. Snow cones, Jolly Ranchers - it doesn't matter, they shouldn't even try to taste like a perfect watermelon because inevitably, they'll fail.

I'd write more, but I have a game to go play!.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Boca Burgers and Pie

I often make a Boca Burger for lunch. It's simple, fast, and a good excuse to eat homemade pickles. It's also one of the only times I use our microwave to actually "cook" something. Usually it's just a timer or maybe I reheat my coffee.

But I digress. I buy the packages of Boca Burgers from Costco, which means they're the big ones, not the ones that come from the regular grocery store. Why is that important? Because it means they take longer to heat up and so I flip them over mid-way through. And invariably when I flip it over, I reveal the grill marks. And every time I see them, I wonder how they got there. And then I think, how is it that every single time I stick a Boca Burger in the microwave, I put it grill marks-side down to start with?

Yes, I know that they are put there in the manufacturing process and not by using the microwave. But every single time, without intentionality, I put it in grill marks-side down. That's like rolling double sixes every time in backgammon. What are the chances?!

And it is March 14th, which means it's Pi Day. Which means that 8" apple pies at Whole Foods were only $3.14. I wouldn't ordinarily buy a pie but I somehow felt the need to celebrate. I did not also buy ice cream which eliminates the need to ask the ridiculous question "Pie or ice cream?"

Monday, January 23, 2012

My Father's Doppelganger

My father has both a Driver's License and a State ID. They were obtained on the same day, within two hours of each other at the same State office by my parents.

One has his weight at 180 and the other at 165. The other has his height at 5'3" and the other at 5'5". Both pictures make it look like he should be on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted List.

What is interesting about the FBI's list is that they haven't replaced the two people they've found. I think they should rename it the Eight Most Wanted....

In good news, I haven't received any additional speeding tickets.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Shehechiyanu Moment

I got my first speeding ticket last week. I've always driven a little fast and was honestly surprised that I got pulled over. I'm not sure what took them so long. I haven't looked at the ticket since I got it, though I probably should since I probably have to pay it. I would have to go to court in Joliet to fight it and that's just too far away.

I'm pretty sure that whoever created the prayer that you say upon having a new experience was not thinking of this....

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Sweet and Salty

Having dinner across from a 4-year old last night who evidently likes a sweet and salty combination. The sweet - a donut from Krispy Kreme. The salty - black olive juice.

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Been There, Done That

I figured out at some point that I tend to try new things, figure out I can do them (or can't) and then be done with them. Mainly cooking kinds of things these days.


  • Last year I made a lot of ice cream and I haven't made any since.

  • This summer I made some crackers. They were pretty good, and they're easy enough that I could make them pretty frequently, but since I know I can, I don't feel the need to.

  • I also made a bunch of pickles this summer. Most of them were okay. I haven't broken into the pickled skapes yet...

  • Over the last two weeks, I decided to make truffles. They are probably an experiment not yet complete, but they're also hard to screw up, so I think that might be getting checked off the list now too.

  • Today, it's pumpkin seeds, though I haven't yet decided what to do with the pumpkin.

  • Many years ago it was riding a motorcycle. That was fun, until I didn't pass the test, which I'm okay with. I feel that if there is ever a situation in which I must ride a motorcycle, I'll remember enough to get away (because its gotta be like riding a bike, right?!)

If you've got suggestions for the next things to try, let me know....

Monday, September 12, 2011

Boot Camp

Sometime last spring, but maybe even late winter, I stopped going to Boot Camp at my local YMCA. I just sort of fell out the habit. I think I was traveling alot and then had a few meetings those nights, or maybe it was raining, and I just didn't go. I still made it to the gym - I just didn't make it to Boot Camp.

Until last Thursday night. I went back to Boot Camp, walked out alive (but barely), and have been sore ever since. And then I went again tonight. The Monday and Thursday classes are different enough that I'm pretty sure I'll be sore until the next class, and this time in all different places.

There is nothing to love about Boot Camp. He makes us run, which I do not like to do. He makes us do push-ups, which I do not like to do. He makes us sweat. And then sweat more. Like it or not, I sweat. And then sweat more. There are short water breaks where we are allowed to slake, but not quench, our thirst.

It is horrible and awesome at the same time. Because I can run. And I can do push-ups. And I sweat all the time, so the fact that I'm sweating more isn't actually so special. And it's a good sore, in a sick sort of way.